The sky paints itself gold and notes reverberate from the dark wooden belly of my piano. I am nine again. Life trickles simply around me and the metronome ticks steadily along beside me. Yet, discord still seeps into this haven. I have lost the tempo. My heart thumps and my fingers tingle as I try to regain the beat. Little do I realize that this imbalance is a beauty of its own. I often think back to that brief period of time I played piano. As my world widens beyond that instrument and I struggle to find tranquility in a world rife with conflict, I have come to recognize the importance of the discord that I had abhorred. In order to have true civil discourse, a time of bonding that results in learning for all involved parties, acceptance of disagreement is essential. In my family, stubbornness and oversensitivity made civil discourse a rare occurrence. As a Chinese adoptee, I struggled to admit the loss I felt about not knowing my birth parents. Believing voicing my concerns with my adoptive parents would be fruitless, I resorted to Twitter. So at sixteen-years-old, I published a strand of tweets condemning the system named adoption. Minutes after I pressed “post,” my mother, furious about what she just read, stomped over to my father’s study. The rest of the night consisted of one-sided arguments and tears. The next evening, my mother and I watched a pro-adoption movie. Neither my mother nor I had made space for civil discourse those two nights. My mother had been locked in her belief that she was right. How could adoption ever be bad? After all, she had opened her life to two strangers. By showing me that pro-adoption video, she created little room for disagreement. Meanwhile, I had never spoken up. I hid behind my computer and Twitter and did not argue against watching that movie. Just as I stressed over not keeping the beat while playing the piano, I had been intimidated by discord. Life ticked on after those nights and I learned that the stubbornness and oversensitivity that plagued my family afflicted others, too. Always finding safety in books, I became involved in the extreme progressive Twitter-sphere that surrounds young adult fiction. In December 2019, J. K. Rowling tweeted support for a woman who made the transphobic claim that “people cannot change their biological sex” (Coleman, Clive). In the next couple of days, I watched on Twitter as many showered transgender creators with love while others tweeted things along the lines of “J. K. Rowling should die in a hole.” The latter response conveys just as little empathy as J. K. Rowling’s tweet did and provides no opening for conversation and growth. Although bigotry is difficult to have civil discourse about due to its deeply personal nature and marginalized people should not feel beholden to educate others, if all parties, especially the prejudiced and privileged, are willing to listen and learn even if they do not agree, then acceptance can flourish. The inability to listen to those who are different can have drastic impacts on a global scale. Japan’s conflict between Korean Japanese and ethnic Japanese highlights this fact. In Tokyo and Osaka, small communities of Koreans regularly face discrimination. Korean children who were born in Japan cannot wear their traditional clothes outside of school in fear of ridicule. Not finding a home in Japan, the Koreans look for aid and sympathy in North Korea. It’s a “cycle,” Vox Borders explains. Japanese discriminate against Koreans in Japan. The Koreans in Japan support North Korea. As a result of this alliance, Japanese further discriminate against Koreans (Harris, Johnny). Similar to the J. K. Rowling situation, in this case, with no one, particularly the Japanese with privilege, exhibiting a willingness to pause and listen in spite of cultural differences, civil discourse cannot take place and the cycle cannot end. When the existence of discord is accepted and disagreeing parties are able to speak and listen, true bonding and education transpire. In January 2020, I discovered unsettling truths about my adoption. My orphanage had engaged in “baby trafficking” and many adoption papers, possibly mine, were falsified. Sitting in the car with my fingers trembling, I was not sure if I could voice what I unearthed to my mom. I took the chance. As the sun set outside the window, my mother and I were truthful to one another. I admitted how disturbed I was and my mother did not invalidate me. While we disagreed on the probability of my own abandonment being a result of unethical means, we still were able to listen and accept our differences. My mother learned more about my personal feelings and I recognized how discord, when welcomed, can be beautiful. Works Cited Coleman, Clive. “Maya Forstater: Woman Loses Tribunal over Transgender Tweets.” BBC News, BBC, 19 Dec. 2019, www.bbc.com/news/uk-50858919. Harris, Johnny, director. Inside North Korea's Bubble in Japan. YouTube, Vox, 31 Oct. 2017, youtu.be/qBfyIQbxXPs Thank you for reading! If you like my essay, please don't be afraid to give it a share. Comments are always welcome and I love hearing your thoughts. Question: Do you think discord and beauty can co-exist?
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AuthorI'm Darcy Ridge, creating stories that all revolve around family and identity in a myriad of ways. In the past, I have shared multiple stories and published a novella online. You can find me on Wattpad and many other social media websites. They/them [Image Description: black background with the words "Social Justice and Mental Health Resources" in white in the center /end ID]
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