Have you ever walked past a person trying to get through a door? Have you ever seen someone drop their binders, but refuse to help pick their things up? I've definitely been in those situations and having been the person on the other side as well, I've seen others do it too. I'm not a professional on the human mind, but I'm interested in delving into why we push other people's problems away or into our lives. A big part of pretending to ignore someone grappling at a door is worrying what others will think. You may be worried the person will get angry at you for trying to help or that people will think of you as weak. You may also be worried about embarrassing yourself. These worries then lead you to come up with excuses like getting to class late or that the person will be fine by themselves. Both of those may be true and maybe getting to that class is more important than helping someone with a door, but sometimes you feel worse walking away than staying to help. This is where "not my problem" comes in. People use that phrase as a way to make themselves feel better and to worry less. The person at the door to you is dealing with their own problem and doesn't need you to interfere. "Not my problem" is an excuse to not help another person or get involved in an issue. Sometimes you can get away with it, like the door problem, but for other things like climate change, it's going to affect you some way or another. People who help others are able to push away those feelings of worry and embarrassment. They may also be having a good day themselves. They find that the joy of helping someone outweighs letting the person struggle alone. They may empathize or sympathize, leading them to want to offer assistance. I can see myself in almost every single example in this post. I've been in the "not my problem" category as well as the person who helps and the person who is left alone to suffer. I feel terrible after not helping someone when I could have easily done so. When I help someone with the door, I feel better and my day is often more positive. I feel lonely when people leave me to deal with my problems after clearly seeing me struggle. I'm grateful when someone notices and takes action. I hope this article helps you figure out which category you're in and how you can act in a more positive way. See you next month!
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AuthorI'm Darcy Ridge, creating stories that all revolve around family and identity in a myriad of ways. In the past, I have shared multiple stories and published a novella online. You can find me on Wattpad and many other social media websites. They/them [Image Description: black background with the words "Social Justice and Mental Health Resources" in white in the center /end ID]
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